Weatherproofing

The Groupon Guide to: Weatherproofing

With winter looming, families everywhere have begun the arduous process of tightly sealing their homes to save on heating costs. What are some tips for weatherproofing your domicile?

Windows: If you plan to keep windows closed all winter, try covering them with plastic wrap and sealing them with tape. Keep a bat trapped underneath the plastic, because his frantic flapping will generate body heat and flap away chilly breezes. Replace bat weekly.
Pipes: Frozen pipes can generate plumbing problems or even burst and result in flooding. Hardware salesmen might recommend an expensive indoor flamethrower, but, for a cheap eco-friendly solution, try gently warming your pipes with your tongue.
Doors: Doors are just burglar-sized windows. Protect your home from clime and crime by removing them from the hinges and tightly packing the doorway with an upright inflatable raft. Impress your neighbors by writing "Welcome!" on the bottom and, because the raft can't be budged for them to enter, "Sorry."